Thriving Despite Our Limitations

Life often feels like an unwinnable race against time and expectations. Young people can find the sheer weight of endless possibilities both daunting and paralysing. Adults face the daily struggle of balancing finite resources. While older adults may find themselves disheartened, reflecting on why they never managed to overcome these challenges. Yet, the truth is, this struggle isn’t a sign of personal failure – it’s simply a reflection of what it means to be human, dealing with our limitations.  However, it is possible to thrive despite these limitations.

We live in a world bursting with infinite tasks and opportunities.  We are surrounded by others just as complex and imperfect as ourselves. Relationships – whether in the form of friendships, dating, marriage, parenting, or others – are bewilderingly intricate and unpredictable. Also, we face an unknowable future, full of uncertainties and surprises we can never fully predict.

Today’s culture repeatedly perpetuates the illusion that reality is something we can fully control; the idea that with the correct approach and enough effort, we can master every aspect of our lives. But this mindset overlooks a crucial truth: life will always be bigger than us. There will always be too much for us to do. We’ll never fully understand what makes other people tick. We’ll never feel completely certain or confident about the future.

This isn’t about us failing at ‘doing life’– it’s because we have limitations. We are finite and have limited resources. The list of what we could do will always outweigh the time we have to accomplish it. We’ll always be vulnerable to unforeseen catastrophes and personal suffering. And no matter how hard we try, we can never completely control the direction our lives take.

Accepting these realities might sound bleak but in fact it can be liberating.  Facing the truth of our limitations allows us to make peace with perfectionism and lets us thrive. It helps us stop demanding flawlessness from our work, relationships, and even ourselves. It helps us recognise that life is not about trying to achieve the impossible but about making meaningful choices, prioritising the few things that give our lives real meaning and joy.

Life will inevitably involve tough decisions and sacrifices. We’ll regret some choices and disappoint people sometimes. The standards for perfection that live in our heads are just unattainable. But by shifting our perspective, we can let go of the unwinnable struggle and focus our finite time and attention on what truly matters to us.

We need a shift in perspective and a practical change in how we approach life. By embracing the reality of our finiteness, we open the door to a life of greater clarity, purpose, and peace, allowing us to thrive as limited human beings.

Note: For helpful guidance on how we can shift our perspective and suggested practical ways to thrive despite our limitations, see Oliver Burkeman’s excellent book – Meditations for Mortals.  The Sunday Times bestseller was the inspiration for this article.